I felt very badly when I heard of the boy’s suicide. He was a pupil in a school and he used to come here. He would often say to me that he couldn’t enjoy worldly life. He had lived with some relatives in the eastern provinces and at that time used to meditate in solitude, in the meadows, hills and forests. He told me he had visions of many divine forms. Perhaps this was his last birth. He must have finished most of his duties in his previous birth. The little that had been left undone was perhaps finished in this one.
One must admit to the existence of tendencies inherited from previous births.
“I am frightened to hear of the suicide.”
Suicide is a heinous sin, undoubtedly. A man who kills himself must return again and again to this world and suffer its agony.
But I don’t call it suicide if a person leaves his body after having the vision of God. There is no harm in giving up one’s body that way. After attaining Knowledge some people give up their bodies. After the gold image has been cast in the clay mould, you may either preserve the mould or break it.
A young man of about twenty used to come to the temple garden. In my presence, he used to experience intense ecstasy. This young man touched my feet one day and said, “Sir, I shall not be able to see you anymore. Let me bid you good-bye.’ A few days later I learned that he had given up his body [committed suicide].
It is said that there are four classes of human beings: the bound, those aspiring after liberation, the liberated, and the ever perfect.
The world is like a fishing net. Men are the fish, and God, whose illusion has created this world, is the fishermen.
Some fish are so careful by nature that they are never caught in the net, some are never entangled in the meshes of worldliness.
The liberated, and the seekers after liberation, look on the world as a deep well. They do not enjoy it. Therefore, after the attainment of knowledge, the realization of God, some give up their bodies. But such a thing is rare indeed.
People are ruined by litigation, yet people continue to go to court all the same. There are men who cannot feed the children they have, who cannot clothe them or provide decent shelter for them; yet, they have more children every year.
- The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, The Master and Vijay Goswami
There is freedom from the known pattern, or freedom from desired experience, or freedom from the expectation of pleasure. And then when you get that far, what’s left over? The responsiveness of the organism and the integrity of the mind to challenges in the kitchen, grocery store, driving, the needs of babies and children. Some people can’t be responsible because they don’t have the freedom to be responsible. The more badly you want something, the less you’ll notice the things that are being neglected.
Inducing disorientation: The abuser causes the victim to lose faith in his / her ability to manage and cope with the world and it’s demands. She no longer trusts her own senses. Her skills, she doubts her skills. She doubts her strengths. She doubts her family. She doubts her friends. She doubts the predictability and benevolence of her environment. The abuser subverts her targets focus, by disagreeing with her way of seeing the world, by arguing with her judgements. By disputing the facts and by criticizing her incessantly by offering fallacious and wrong alternatives. By recurrently disapproving of her choices and actions, the abuser shreds the victims self confidence. And shatters her self esteem. By reacting dis-proportionally to the slightest mistake, he intimidates her to the point of paralysis.
Incapacitating: The abuser gradually and surreptitiously takes over functions and chores previously and adequately performed by the victim. The victim finds herself isolated from the outer world. A hostage to the ill will of the abuser. She is encroached and her boundaries are gradually worn down. And she ends up tormented by her abusers whims and she needs his permission to go out into the world and interact with anyone. The abuser engineers impossible, unpredictable and dangerous situations that are unprecedented or highly specific, and in these situations he makes sure he is solely needed. The abuser leverages his knowledge, his skill, his connections for situations that he himself has engineered. The abuser generates his own indispensability and fosters in the victim, growing dependence.
- by Sam Vaknin
[Control by Proxy] The abuser collects friends, mates, colleagues, family members, authorities, neighbors, the media, teachers, anyone, any third party, to do his bidding. He uses these people and institutions to cajole, to coerce, to threaten, to stalk, to offer, to retreat, to tempt, to harass, in other words, to manipulate his target. He plans to control his target. He employs the same mechanisms and devices to move his third parties and proxy’s around and this is so that he can move his victim around. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.
Engineering situations where the victim is forced to abuse a third party: in such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment the abuser provokes the victim into socially unacceptable behavior, which then further provokes social sanctions. The victim is condemned and even physically punished. Society becomes the instrument of the abuser. He first provokes the victim into socially unacceptable behavior, and then he uses society to punish the victim. [S.V. Gaslighting and Ambient Abuse]
Question: Why does the elder brother beat the younger sister, and the younger sister the younger brother?
J.Krishnamurti: That is a very good question. You know, have you ever watched the chicken? The more powerful pecks the weaker chicken and the weaker chicken pecks the still weaker chicken. You have no chickens here, you do not watch. You do not do anything though there is life all about you. Please listen. You do not look, you do not observe – neither your teachers nor yourself. That is how life is. Among the animals, the stronger destroys the weaker. That is what we do in human society. The strong man pushes out his chest and beats everybody and the weaker one gets angry with the still weaker. You ask why we do this. For the very simple reason that we want to do it. If we are beaten by a big man, we want to take it out of the little man.
You know the desire to hurt is very strong in us. We want to hurt people. There is a pleasure in hurting people, in telling, in saying cruel things about people, ugly things, inferior things. We never speak to people with kindliness. We never speak to people of their goodness but always talk with a sneer. So, that has to be understood, not why the elder sister beats the younger sister and so on. The elder sister is probably beaten by the father or mother. Therefore she has to take it out of somebody. So, she beats the younger and the younger takes it out of the little ones.
To understand cruelty is very difficult and to understand animosity and not to create animosity is very difficult for most people. We never think of all these things. In our schools we are never pointed out these acts of cruelty, because the teacher does not see them for himself. He has his problems, he has to get through the class and push the students through some examinations. Please watch all the things that are taking place about you, how the chicken fight each other, how the strong bulldog dominates everything else. You will find that the same spirit of domination, anger, hatred and animosity is in each one of us. To dispel this, we have only to be aware of it and not to consider it as wrong or right.
~ Banaras (Varanasi), India, 20th January, 1954, 13th Talk with students at the Rajghat school