The earth was far below us, shimmering in the heat, an unending brown with an occasional patch of green. Presently we landed, and the heat became all but unbearable; it was literally painful, and even in the shade of a building the top of one’s head felt as if it would burst. The summer was well along and the country was almost a desert. We took off again and the plane climbed, seeking the cool winds. Two new passengers sat in the opposite seats and they were talking loudly; it was impossible not to overhear them. They began quietly enough; but soon anger crept into their voices, the anger of familiarity and resentment. In their violence they seemed to have forgotten the rest of the passengers; they were so upset with each other that they alone existed, and none else. Anger has that peculiar quality of isolation; like sorrow, it cuts one off, and for the time being, at least, all relationship comes to an end. Anger has the temporary strength and vitality of the isolated. There is a strange despair in anger; for isolation is despair. The anger of disappointment, of jealousy, of the urge to wound, gives a violent release whose pleasure is self-justification. We condemn others, and that very condemnation is a justification of ourselves. Without some kind of attitude, whether of self-righteousness or self-abasement, what are we? We use every means to bolster ourselves up; and anger, like hate, is one of the easiest ways. Simple anger, a sudden flare-up which is quickly forgotten, is one thing; but the anger that is deliberately built up, that has been brewed and that seeks to hurt and destroy, is quite another matter. Simple anger may have some physiological cause which can be seen and remedied; but the anger that is the outcome of a psychological cause is much more subtle and difficult to deal with. Most of us do not mind being angry, we find an excuse for it. Why should we not be angry when there is ill-treatment of another or of ourselves? So we become righteously angry. We never just say we are angry, and stop there; we go into elaborate explanations of its cause. [J. Krishnamurti]
Mistakes of commission vs. mistakes of omission. Mistakes of omission happen when you are doing something that you should not be doing (e.g., taking something or someone that is not your responsibility, or asking for something or someone that is not your responsibility). Mistakes of commission happen when you are doing what you should be doing, but you don’t get the intended results. The most difficult word here is “should”, and not everyone can use that word effectively, correctly and at the right time.
The benefit of doubting: when you doubt what you resentfully know, the heart is given a chance to unclench, and when you start to unlearn false beliefs you begin to understand. Doubt purifies, replacing knowledge with understanding, and replacing resentment with forgiveness.
Give yourself the benefit of doubt and then you’ll find you can do the same for others.
Doctors can often be impatient, they want their commission, and they want efficiency and expedience. I was pressured to take olanzapine / zyprexa to treat “symptoms”, which were just feelings, emotions and thoughts that were inconvenient and difficult for coworkers. Some of these medications are powerful, but the effect it had on me was a large loss of interest in higher matters, I temporarily lost most of my higher feelings and emotions, but my lower hind-brain drives remained intact. The main effect was that I adopted a secular, mechanical view of the universe. I seen the universe as apathetic, devoid of spiritual consciousness, and i got caught up in the Sam Harris, Daniel Dennet, Dawkins Rubbish. I slowly worked my way off the meds and as the calendar hit 2012, I had my great spiritual epiphanies on cannabis and mushrooms. I’ll never go back to the secular, mechancial view of the universe, nor will i go back to taking the pills. It might be a weakness to be a name dropper, but I need my role models to keep me on a good path, Rupert Sheldrake, Terence Mckenna, Carl Jung, Ramana Maharshi, we need the good role models to point the way. My latest discovery is Peter Breggin, he seems to be another one of the great pole stars lighting the way. We have to cross over to the other side, the time is now to push back against the one’s who blame and bully us into conformity to the easy predictable patterns. Convenient for the exploiters on top of the pyramid profit scheme, and destructive to those below.