“My son is the one with the Harem”, he said with a smile. “oh yeah? hmmm, I never heard that word before”…. I meditated on the word anxiously and couldn’t remember how to pronounce it in a sentence. His smile never faded, and as he continued his egregious talk, he admonished, “It’s singular, harem, if you say you have harems, then you won’t have a harem, you’ll just be stupid!” He laughed even harder at himself this time. I didn’t get the joke, and so I decided he was going to share his beer with me, and I left my house and crossed over into his hut, and took two of his beer without asking, and I even had the courtesy to leave the remaining two beer for him and his wife, and I don’t regret watching him get angry and offended by that, people get what they deserve.
A stupid person deliberately acts for expectation, even betting on someone’s anger and taking advantage of it for personal gain. Your anger becomes a parcel for her fulfillment because this exploiter is expecting your anger, and every time you get angry, you fulfill her expectations, and so she thinks she wins when she hears you say “I’m sorry, what can I do?” Her answer is not too far from: cut off your penis or join the army.
Jung said that to be in a situation where there is no way out or to be in a conflict where there is no solution is the classical beginning of the process of individuation. It is meant to be a situation without solution; the unconscious wants the hopeless conflict in order to put ego consciousness up against the wall, so that the man has to realize that whatever he does is wrong, whichever way he decides will be wrong. This is meant to knock out the superiority of the ego, which always acts from the illusion that it has the responsibility of decision. . . If he is ethical enough to suffer to the core of his personality, then generally, because of the insolubility of the conscious situation, the Self manifests. In religious language you could say that the situation without issue is meant to force the man to rely on an act of God.” ― Marie-Louise von Franz
I expect more from the Swiss national character than from an artificially fostered team-spirit, because it has deeper roots in our native soil than an enthusiasm which wanes with the words that conjure it up. It is all very fine to be swept along on a tide of enthusiasm, but one cannot enthuse indefinitely. Enthusiasm is an exceptional state, and human reality is made up of a thousand vulgarities. Just what these are is the decisive thing. If the ordinary Swiss makes very sure that he himself has it good and can summon up no enthusiasm whatever for the joys of having nothing in glorious solidarity with everybody else, that is certainly unromantic— worse, it is selfish, but it is sound instinct. The healthy man does not torture others— generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. And the healthy man also has a certain amount of goodness which he is the more inclined to expend since he does not enjoy a particularly good conscience on account of his obvious selfishness. We all have a great need to be good ourselves, and occasionally we like to show it by the appropriate actions. If good can come of evil self-interest, then the two sides of human nature have cooperated. But when in a fit of enthusiasm we begin with the good, our deep-rooted selfishness remains in the background, unsatisfied and resentful, only waiting for an opportunity to take its revenge in the most atrocious way. Community at all costs, I fear, produces the flock of sheep that infallibly attracts the wolves. Man’s moral endowment is of so dubious a nature that a stable condition seems possible only when every sheep is a bit of a wolf and every wolf a bit of a sheep. The truth is that a society is more secure the more the much maligned instincts can, of their own accord, start off the counterplay of good and evil. “Pure good” and “pure evil” are both superhuman excesses.
(Carl Jung, “Return to the simple life” 1941)
I was 17 or 18 when I was circumcised. I didn’t have the communication skills and optimism that was required to work past my foreskin naturally, and instead I used the medical system to “quicken” the process of becoming and carrying on with my idealized peer group, which included the girl who was the most active coming in and out of my private life. I suppose I do regret rushing into a sexual relationship and I wonder was circumcision really necessary? I regret the feeling of gradually being overtaken by abuse of different kinds. However, I don’t regret something I can’t control, meaning, the past is behind me and the only thing that is in my control is my capacity to choose a subject to appreciate, such as, “consideration, respect and affection for others.” Regret, bitterness, malevolence, these are inner failures, the negative downward energy spiral is in fact, the loneliness, humiliation, suffering, and embarrassment, and giving full attention to the content of one’s mind clarifies the past. The element of idealization, in every moment, is a shadow, and an excess of idealism is the abysmal darkness of abuse.
STR in NUMBERS
One source from Sparta, boys were all circumcised at Birth to ensure large population to intimidate other cultures. Maximizing human reproduction via circumcision guaranteed strength in numbers. Athens Greece introduced the coin and the concept of respect and affection broadened in dimensions, and hence, Athens overcame the stark brutality of Sparta. Phimos means to muzzle, and as education flowers, we will speak more and more clearly to boys about circumcision and thereby reducing incidents of collective-desperation and collective-pressure these forces that circumcision is not separate from.
A cold heart is the price one pays for harboring conviction, the conviction might be secular or religious, but the result is the same, you’ve got it all figured out, you know he’s stupid, and because of your conviction, you think you can treat him badly. Conviction goes with convict and also with convenience. You treat people like they are your inferiors because it’s convenient for you to do so, but only the short term, not the long term.
There are only a few things worse than dealing with a person who can only see her idealized future outcome. She’s not happy until you lie to her about what the future result will be, and of course, the future result is what she’s expecting, and what she’s expecting will not happen, but she doesn’t know that she doesn’t know. A happily deceived person is waiting for a day that never comes.